A person’s psychological health and sense of security are closely linked to his/her emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the basis of all human behaviour, people’s experiences and memories, attitudes and beliefs, values and feelings, perceptions of others and oneself, self-esteem and well-being, etc. To sum up, it is the ability to be happy and to share that feeling with the others. The basis of emotional intelligence is firstly formed by parents, and then, to a large extent, by kindergarten and school, as well as by the state and the society in which we live. To develop emotional intelligence of students, schools need to act as focused communities. Unfortunately, practical experiences show that the relations fostered between the school and the parents/children is not always based not on mutual respect, and this gap is getting deeper and deeper each day. They focus not on searching for effective solutions to the problem, but on searching for more compelling evidence (what was done wrong, who did it wrong). On the other hand, the educational community feels like ‘cornered’ and no longer sure about how to approach a child (even the more, when it comes to approaching the parents) or how to speak up.
Research shows that a high proportion of teachers have low self-esteem, poor stress and conflict management skills, inadequate life balance and poor collaboration skills. Lacking emotional literacy themselves, educators are completely unable to teach it to students. Educating on emotional intelligence, in particular, helps to rebuild the damaged self-esteem and self-respect of teachers, enables development of social and emotional skills of teachers and students, improves the learning outcomes, promotes emotional health and positive behaviour, also brings well-being to all those who learn and work at school.
Developing emotional intelligence is important not just for the quality of an individual’s present life, but also for his/her future success and happiness. The earlier a person is trained in emotional literacy, the better the results he/she will achieve in their professional and personal lives. Both children and adults can develop their emotional intelligence. Psychologist V. Mačiulienė offers the following daily tips:
- Watch your feelings. Pause from time to time, take a deep breath, exhale and ask yourself about how you feel right now. Notice how these feelings relate to your body’s reactions, what they remind you of. The more you practise this, the sooner it will become a natural action for you. In this way, you will develop the awareness of your feelings.
- Share pleasant and unpleasant emotions with the people you trust. People who do this are more resilient and more likely to have fulfilling relationships.
- Pay attention to small pleasant moments. Each day, write down at least three pleasant things that have happened to you. They don’t have to be spectacular, very rare or big; they can be very simple everyday observations, e. g. a beautiful sunset or a cup of delicious coffee. This will help you experience more positive emotions and be happier.
- Remind yourself of your strengths. Take a few minutes every day to think about what you love or like about yourself.
- Learn to listen. When talking to people who are important to you, try to distance yourself from yourself and really hear what the other person has to say. It is always more pleasant to communicate with those who know how to listen and hear.
- Stay authentic. We often imagine that others are happier, have better families, etc. But these are often our misconceptions about the lives of others. Comparing yourself to others will never make you happy because everyone’s life is different. Don’t measure your happiness with the happiness of others, stay authentic.
List of references:
- D. Howe (2008) The emotionally intelligent social worker. Palgrave Macmillan
- Liubertienė I., Kuneckienė R., Zabulytė Kupriūnienė J. (2015) Socialinių emocinių kompetencijų lavinimas ugdymo įstaigose (Developing social-emotional competences in educational institutions). // Socialinė sveikata. Nr. 4(4). Internet access: http://www.socialinisdarbas.lt/socialhealth
- Mačiulienė V., Emocinio intelekto svarba kasdieniniame gyvenime (The importance of emotional intelligence in everyday life). Internet access: https://psichika.eu/blog/emocinio-intelekto-svarba-kasdieniniame-gyvenime/
- Židžiūnienė A. Emocinis intelektas – neatsiejama visaverčio gyvenimo dalis (Emotional intelligence – an integral part of a fulfilling life). Internet access: https://www.bernardinai.lt/emocinis-intelektas-neatsiejama-visavercio-gyvenimo-dalis/